To the Silent Warrior Dads—This One’s for You

Some may know, most don’t, My eldest son, Richard, is on the spectrum. He has the gift of Asperger’s, which has a multitude of challenges like being socially awkward, very high muscle tone, sensory integrative issues etc. He also does not have the ability to smell (which he claims to be actually his biggest gift due to his brothers incredible ability of passing gas!) But it also gives him an extraordinary focused mind.

Defying all odds, he’s just landed an internship at the local museum, and I couldn’t be prouder. We were all weeping yesterday with joy for him. Richard lives and breathes history.

Being a father to a child on the autism spectrum is not easy. The moms are usually in the forefront in the fight for the kids and the dad’s often get forgotten. We don’t really know how to deal with it, we don’t know actually what society wants from us.

It shaped my life in ways many don’t see. I have turned down promotions. I didn’t relocate, no matter how tempting the offer—because we refused to move somewhere without the right support and school for him.

But watching the man he’s becoming, I know we made the right choices. Despite all that the world has thrown at him, Richard has blossomed into someone deeply thoughtful, quietly kind, and fiercely loyal. He’ll even offer you the last bite of his Big Mac. He’ll do anything I ask—no hesitation.
To all the dads walking this road quietly in the background: hang in there. It’s tough, but it’s worth every step. And if it hasn’t worked out yet—it’s not the end.

Raising Richard has changed me. I’ve noticed it’s made me a better communicator, a better person, and a better coach. You cannot communicate in vague terms to an Aspy. Clarity is needed. The paradox is that I’ve also learned that not everything is black and white. Life lives in the grey. In ambiguity, in nuance, in empathy. Growth doesn’t follow a schedule. Life happens at its own pace. And that’s okay. For a hardcore technocrat like myself, that was a big shift to make. It was though; a Shift for the better.

I wouldn’t change a single thing. The impact Richard has on those around him is immense—not because he speaks the loudest, but because he cares the most.

My wife Natasha and I are so proud of both our boys. They’ve taught us that maturity isn’t about how polished you look to the outside world. It’s about how you treat those in your circle of influence. It’s about the impact you leave behind—in hearts, not just in metrics.

This lesson goes far beyond family. It’s a lesson for business. For leadership. For life. Business exists to make a difference. To elevate the quality of life. To create meaning and momentum in the world. That’s the mission. And for me, it began at home—with a spark lit by my family, and my own imperfections.

I still fall short. Often. But every day, I get up and try again—to be better for them, and for my clients.