Mid-Life and Money

As we journey through life, we often hear about the infamous “midlife crisis.” But what if I told you that midlife is not a crisis, but rather a chrysalis—a time of transformation and opportunity? It’s time to debunk the myths and embrace the reality that midlife is a period ripe with potential, a second act where we can recalibrate our lives and finances to align with our deepest desires and newfound longevity.

We’re living longer than ever before, with many of us reaching the centenarian mark. This extension of life has reshaped the landscape of midlife, turning it into a more significant transition than we’ve ever acknowledged in the past. The question then arises: When does midlife actually begin? It’s no longer just a span of a few years; it’s a broad spectrum ranging from 35 to 75, encompassing early, middle, and later midlife stages.

I had the privilege of attending the Modern Elder Academy in Mexico, a unique institution founded by Chip Conley. It’s a place where individuals learn to navigate the transition of midlife with grace and purpose. Chip has re-envisioned this period as a time for growth and learning, encouraging a shift in perspective from seeing midlife as a crisis to viewing it as a period of reactivity and recalibration.

The truth is, retirement has evolved. The days of retiring at 65 are fading, as we now consider extending our working years far beyond what was once the norm. Our companies and societal structures may not be fully prepared for this shift, but it’s essential to recognise how our lifespans have expanded and adapt accordingly.

I’m weary of the narrative that midlife equates to a crisis. It’s a misconception that needs to be laid to rest. Midlife is only a crisis if we fail to engage in the work it takes to grow and evolve. It’s a time for introspection, for asking ourselves what we truly want from the years ahead.

In a TED talk I recently watched, Chip Conley spoke about midlife with a refreshing perspective. He highlighted the “U-Curve of Happiness,” which shows that while life satisfaction may decline from our early twenties until around 45 to 50, it begins to rise again thereafter. This suggests that midlife is not a descent into despair but a pivot point towards greater fulfilment.

Conley likens midlife to the metamorphosis of a caterpillar into a butterfly. Just as the caterpillar consumes voraciously before entering its chrysalis, we too accumulate experiences and achievements in our youth. The chrysalis represents midlife—a time of transformation where we can emerge with new wisdom to share with the world. This stage is not about crisis; it’s about embracing the metamorphosis and preparing to spread our wings.

So, how do we prepare for this transformative stage? I propose a practical exercise that I call the “Suitcase Exercise,” which I’ve used personally and with many clients. It’s a tool to help us gain clarity on what we want to carry forward into the next chapter of our lives. The exercise involves pausing to reflect on what we want to keep—relationships, careers, beliefs—and what we need to let go of to make room for new experiences and growth. It also emphasises the importance of gratitude, as acknowledging what we’re thankful for can attract even more positivity into our lives.

As we contemplate our midlife transition, it’s crucial to consider our financial plans. Money is the enabler that allows us the freedom to choose how we live our lives. It’s about planning not just for retirement, but for a life rich with purpose and joy. To achieve this, we must understand our relationship with money, which is often formed by the age of seven. By revisiting our first money memories, we can begin to rewrite our money story, letting go of limiting beliefs and embracing a mindset of abundance and prosperity.

In my experience, whether you’re financially comfortable or facing challenges, it’s never too late to take control of your finances. I’ve seen clients transform their lives by aligning their money with their values and goals, regardless of their starting point.

To conclude, midlife is not a period to dread but an exciting stage of life where the best is yet to come. It’s a time to grow whole, not just older. With the right mindset and a solid financial plan, midlife can be the most rewarding chapter yet—a time to redefine ourselves, our relationships, and our contributions to the world.

Let’s cast aside the outdated notion of a midlife crisis and step boldly into our midlife chrysalis, where we can emerge as the best versions of ourselves, equipped with the wisdom and resources to live our lives to the fullest.

Remember, the rest of your story is unwritten, and the opportunities are endless.