Feminine Strength in Failure: 5 Reasons Why Setbacks Can Be Your Greatest Ally

Success isn’t about perfection. It’s about rising again and again,  and that’s where women shine.

By: Craig Lourens, ActionCOACH Business Coach

In a powerful conversation on the Big Success Podcast, Terry Fossum reminded us of a truth women in business often feel but rarely say out loud: “Everyone who has ever succeeded has failed, not once, but over and over.” What if failure wasn’t something to fear or hide, but your fiercest teacher?

From childhood trauma to reality-show triumphs, Fossum’s journey shows that failure can become fuel, and that truth is even more powerful for women, who face unique challenges, judgments, and expectations in business.

Here are five ways women can reframe failure as their greatest ally:

1. Let Failure Be Your Mentor, Not Your Shame

Women often carry the pressure to “get it right” the first time, at work, in leadership, at home. But failure is not proof you’re not enough. It’s proof you’re trying.

Just like Fossum faced poverty, loss, and even violence growing up, many women face their own “quiet battles”, being underestimated, balancing roles, or battling imposter syndrome. These aren’t weaknesses. They are experiences that forge resilience and grit.

From Oprah being told she wasn’t fit for TV to J.K. Rowling’s rejections before Harry Potter took off, failure built the empire. So why not yours?

2. Success Has a Heartbeat, It’s Powered by Emotion

Women, often lead with empathy, intuition, and emotional intelligence, and that’s not a liability. It’s a leadership superpower.

Fossum says “Success is an emotion.” Not a dollar amount. Not a title. But a feeling, like pride, peace, purpose, or freedom. So instead of setting goals like “I want to make more money,” ask yourself: “What would financial freedom feel like for me?”

When your goals are tied to your deeper emotional “why” , whether it’s giving your children more opportunities or proving you belong at the boardroom table, you’ll find the fire to follow through.

3. Try the Oxcart Technique: Make Your WHY Unshakable

Women tend to carry a lot, expectations, care duties, perfectionism, and it’s easy to get stuck in the “comfort zone” of coping. Fossum’s “Oxcart Technique” forces us to ask:

– What happens if I don’t go for it?
– What’s the cost of staying small, silent, or safe?
– And who benefits when I do show up fully?

Paint a vivid picture, of the life you’re building, the legacy you’re creating, or the child watching you lead. That emotional clarity will give you momentum and make mediocrity unbearable.

4. Win the Day, Not Just the War

Women juggle so much, which is why big dreams need small, consistent actions. Fossum calls your daily routine the “bridge between failure and success.”

You don’t need to do it all at once, just do the next brave thing:
– Send the pitch.
– Raise your prices.
– Block off 15 minutes for strategy.
– Say no to what drains you and yes to what builds you.

Small daily wins become unstoppable momentum.

5. Get a Coach, Not Just a Cheerleader

Behind every woman who rises is someone who held her accountable, asked tough questions, and believed in her fiercely.

Fossum says, “A coach will tell you what your friends won’t.” Whether it’s a mentor, business coach, or fellow woman entrepreneur, don’t do it alone.

Women thrive in community. And when your coach helps you connect your goals to a bigger emotional cause, whether it’s providing for family, empowering others, or changing an industry — failure becomes fuel.

Final Word: Redefine What Winning Looks Like

Failure isn’t falling short, it’s refusing to try. You’re not meant to do this without falling, fumbling, or doubting. You’re meant to rise anyway.

At the FEMINAR, we’ll help you do just that, build a thriving business that’s aligned with your purpose, powered by your daily actions, and surrounded by a circle of women who know what it means to lead with heart.

Because when women turn failure into fire, nothing can stop them!

Visit Craig Lourens, ActionCOACH Business Coach